Joan, my Synergist, responded with this excellent question: "Do you feel like you're not being met in some way?" My immediate answer was "Yes, I feel like I'm not being met in my thoughts and ideas." So we agreed that when we go to the table, she would ask about my thoughts or ideas related to something before asking about what was in my body about it.
...and that made all the difference. Sometimes I looked for what was going on in my body to find the answer to her question about what I thought about something. Sometimes I didn't have any ideas, but there was an interesting change in my body so I replied with "well here's what happened when you asked that." Sometimes I had well-formed ideas ready to hand, which led somewhere interesting. We ended up having the kind of dialogue I'd been wondering about -- one leg was ready to go because there I was clear about what I wanted, and the other leg was holding back because there I didn't have enough information about what was going on around me. All of which was feeling pertinent to my life.
-I need a person to respond to my thoughts and ideas in order to feel like they're really meeting me.
-From there I can access anything else.
-The best answer to a Rubenfeld question will sometimes be "here's what happened when you asked that."
-"Reaching for something outside my comfort zone" (and I have a large comfort zone)